I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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