That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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