maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
