he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
