are you still at the devil's house?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
