I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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