im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
