i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
