I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize