i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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