I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
