dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
