We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
