O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
