Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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