i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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