ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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