barbara walters just said penis...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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