i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There r osticjed everywhere
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
