They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
