Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
