I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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