"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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