so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
