I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
