We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
