ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
is it fun? or sober?
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