i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize