we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
