is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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