Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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