worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
