Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
