what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Randomize
