drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
