Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
