is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
