Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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