she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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