Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
