i just google imaged poop.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
