your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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