and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
