He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
