ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
