my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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