He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
