Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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