I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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