Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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