oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
