if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
