Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
