let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
