i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
