apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
