i jhust puked up my retainher.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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