well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
