you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize