Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
