And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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