She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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