put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
