They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
