I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
