OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
