if i can run in heels then i can drive
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
