Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize