I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
