oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
