forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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