Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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