The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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