wrigley field is MILF paradise
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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