he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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