i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
